What to do, what to do

Im so confused... coming out to Tx was supposed to be a good thing and a chance to start over, to better ourselves, to make a better life for our girls so why is it sooo hard. I need a clear view b/c right now i cant see past all the fog. A couple of months ago things were good, not great but good, church was going, things had settled, babe was happy or at least content, my girls had friends they considered sisters, i had a friend that i could go to, someone that i cld relate to, some one i thought i'd be friends with for life, some one i considered family and even that has changed. i guess i want it all, but why cant i have it all??? Im the daughter of the most high God, He is my Abba Father and i know He only wants the best for me, so,.. why, and how, and for what? i like my life out in the big state but i wish i cld have the other part of my life from back home that includes John and Robin, Mark and Veronica the loving church family that made my life so unbelievably amazing, my family, no matter how crazy things got i miss them like nobodys bussiness...lol only He knows, i need guidance, strength, and to remember that He and only He is in control... Lord, heal my heart, and forgive me..